1. Brianstorm
Top marks for not trying
So I'd like you to bless us with your effortlessness
We'd wait for and so trained and comforted

And I wonder
Are you putting us under
'Cos we can't take our eyes off his t-shirt
And ties combination

Well see ya later Innovator!

Some want to kiss some want to kick you
There's not a net you couldn't slip through
Or at least that's the impression I get
'Cos you're smooth and you're wet
And she's not aware yet, but she's yours

She'll be sayin' "Use me"
Show me the Jacuzzi
I imagine that it's there on a plate
you're our rendevouz rate
Means you'll never be frightnened
To make em wait for a while
I doubt it's your style
Not to get what you set
Out to acquire
The eyes are on fire
You are the un-forcasted storm

Calm, Collected and Commanding
(Top marks for not trying)
You hit the other story standing
With your ambitions and jokes
I bet there's hundreds of blokes
That have wept 'cos you've stolen their...

Thunder
Are you putting us under
'Cos we can't take our eyes of his t-shirt
and ties combination

Well see ya later
Innovator
Top

2. Teddy Picker
Despair to the point till they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
The sheer desperation to be scene/seen
Staring at the television screen

Despair to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke
Sorry sunshine it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath?
That says "we are defenders
Of any poseur or professional pretender around"

When did your list replace the twist and turn?
Ah the fist, replaced the kissed-on concern
And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker

Asuming that all things are equal,
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?
Top

3. D Is For Dangerous
He knew what he wanted to say
But he did not want to word it
The dirty little Herbert
Was thinking an escape
But the place was well guarded

The guiltyness that started
Soon as the other part had stopped

D is for Delightful
And try and keep your trousers on
I think you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare
D is for...

Desperately trying to stimulate what it was that was alright
3 quarters of an hour ago
That had led him to be in a position
And every compromission
Another freak episode

He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first
The parallel
I think you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare

D is for delightful
and try and keep your trousers on
you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare
Top

4. Balaclava
Running off over next doors garden
Before the hour is done
It's more a question of feeling
Than it is a question of fun
The confidence is the balaclava
I'm sure you'll baffle 'em good
Will the ending reek of salty cheeks
And runny makeup alone

Or will blood run down the face
Of a boy bewildered and scorned
And you'll find yourself in a skirmish
And you wish you'd never been born
And you tie yourself to the tracks
And there isn't no going back
And it's wrong wrong wrong
But we'll do it anyway cause we love a bit of trouble

Are you pulling her from a burning building
Or throwing her to the sharks
Can only hope that the ending is as pleasurable as the start
The confidence is the balaclava, i'm sure you baffle 'em straight
And its wrong wrong wrong, she can hardly wait

That's right, he won't let her out his sight
Now the shaggers perform
And the daggers are drawn
Who's the crooks in this crime?

That's right, he won't let her out his sight
Now the shaggers perform
And the daggers are drawn
Who's the crooks in this....
Crime!

That's right, he wont let her out his sight
That's right, he wont let her out his sight
That's right, he wont let her out his sight

You'll be able to post any day of the most
For the sights of all time

You knew that it'd be trouble right before the very first kiss
Quiet and assuming but you heard that they were the naughtiest
She pleaded with you to take it off
But you resisted and fought
Sorry sweetheart, I'd much rather keep on the balaclava.
Top

5. Florescent Adolescent
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking a Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?

Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Not as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up...

Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
Now when she tells she's gonna get it
I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget i
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn't going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Was it a megadobber or a betting pencil?

Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren't as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up
Oh, where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go? Woah.

Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.

Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.

You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Started all the naughty nights with niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Everything was pretty in the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking in tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?
Top

6. Only One Who Knows
In a foreign place, the saving grace was the feeling,
That it was a heart that he was stealing,
Oh he was ready to impress and the fierce excitement,
The eyes are bright he couldnt wait to get away,
I bet the juliet was just the icing on the cake,
Make no mistake no,

And even if somehow we could have shown you the place you wanted,

Well I'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your own,
And I bet she told a million people that she'd stay in touch,
Well all the little promises they dont mean much,
When theres memories to be made,
And I hope you're holding hands by new years eve,
They made it far too easy to believe,
That true romance cant be acheived these days,

And even if somebody could have shown you the place you wanted,
Well I sure you could have made it that bit better on your own,
You are the only ones who know
Top

7. Do Me A Favour
Well the morning was complete.
There was tears on the steering wheel dripping on the seat,
Several hours or several weeks,
I'd have the cheek to say they're equally as bleak!

It's the beginning of the end, the car went up the hill,
And disappeared around the bend, ask anyone they'll tell you that.
It's these times that it tends,
The start to breaking up, to start to fall apart
Oh! hold on to your heart.

Do me a favour, break my nose!
Do me a favour, tell me to go away!
Do me a favour, stop asking questions!

She walked away, well her shoes were untied,
And the eyes were all red,
You could see that we've cried, and I watched and I waited,
'Till she was inside, forcing a smile and waving goodbye.

Curiousity becomes a heavy load,
Too heavy to hold, too heavy to hold.
Curiousity becomes a heavy load,
Too heavy to hold, will force you to be cold.

And do me a favour, and ask if you need some help!
She said, do me a favour and stop flattering yourself!
How to tear apart the ties that bind, perhaps fuck off, might be too kind,
Perhaps fuck off, might be too kind.
Top

8. This House Is A Circus
This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though. Look
What it's done to your friends their memories are pretend
And the last thing they want is for the feeling to end
This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though. Look
What it's done to your friends their memories are pretend
And the last thing they want is for the feeling to end

Looking for trouble and there's lovers to be had
Those ones next to us are such lovely lads
Scaling the corridors for maidens in the maze
And the anomaly is slipping into familiar ways
And we're forever unfulfilled
Can't think why
Like a search for murder clues
In dead man's eyes
Forever unfulfilled
And can't think why
Like a search for murder clues
In dead man's eyes

The more you open your mouth
The more you're forcing performance
All the attention is leading me to feel important (completely obnoxious)
Now that we're here, we may as well go too far

Wriggling around just so that you won't forget
There's certainly some venom in the looks that you collect
Aimlessly gazing at the blazers in the queue
Struggling with the notion that it's life not film

This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though. Look
What it's done to your friends their memories are pretend
And the last thing they want is for the feeling to end
This house is a circus, berserk as fuck
We tend to see that as a perk though. Look
What it's done to your friends their memories are pretend
And the last thing they want is for the feeling to end
Top

9. If You Were There
If you were there, beware
The serpent soul pinchers
Three hundred and fifty no thank yous and nobody flinches
Go on girl go on, give us something gruesome
We require your grief, the thugs help the thieves
As they're trying to rob the words from her gob and
Take the source of the innocents

If you were there, beware
The serpent soul pinchers
Can't you sense she was never meant
To fill column inches
And you've had enough, what you're trying to dig up
Isn't there to be dug, the thieves help the thugs
As they're trying beat the good grace of a sweetheart

Out to the point she'll comply

Why leave her on her own
If I'd have known then I wouldn't have said it
I wouldn't have said it if I would have known
Why leave her on her own
If I predicted tears then I wouldn't have said it
I wouldn't have said it if I would have known

There's a circle of witches, ambitiously vicious they are
Our attempts to remind them of reason won't get us that far
I don't know what it is that they want
I don't know what it is that they want
But I haven't got it to give
She hasn't got it to give
Top

10. The Bad Thing
Do the bad thing,
Take off your wedding ring,
But it wont make it that much easier, it might make it worse,

Oh the nights like a whirlwind,
Somebody's girlfriend's talkin' to me but its alright,
She's sayin that hes not gonna slap me or try to attack me,
Hes not the jealous type,
And I ony need to get half an excuse and im away,
But when theres no excuses thats much easier to say,
I've been before,
And all these capers make her too forward to ignore,
Well She's talkin but im not entirely sure, ohh

Do the bad thing,
Take off your wedding ring,
But it wont make it that much easier, it might make it worse,

Oh im stood at the bar and somebody's partner's talkin to me,
But I dont know that is what she isnt she murmors things to confirm That the tragedy is true,
And I knew 'how could she could have anyone she wants,
And im strugglin to think of an immediate response,

Like I dont mind,
Be a big mistake,
For you to wait,
And let me waste your time,
Really love its fine,
Really love its fine,

And then the first time it occured that there was something to destroy,

I knew before the invitation that there was this ploy,
Oh but she carried on suggestin, a struggle to refuse,
She said "its the red wine this time, but that is no excuse"
Top

11. Old Yellow Bricks
Old yellow bricks,
Love's a risk,
Quite the little Escapoligist
Looked so miffed,
When you wished,
For a thousand places better than this,

You are the fugitive,
But you dont know what you're runnin from,
You cant kid us,
And you couldnt trick anyone,
Houdini, love you dont know what you're runnin away from,

Who wants to sleep in the city that never wakes up?
Blinded by nostalgia,
Who wants to sleep in the city that never wakes up?

She wasnt raised by the way,
That the emperor put traps in the cage,
And the days she being dull,
Lead to nights readin beer bottles,

You're such a fugitive,
But you dont know what you're runnin from,
You cant kid us,
And you couldnt trick anyone,
Houdini, love you dont know what you're runnin away from,

Who wants to sleep in the city that never wakes up?
Blinded by nostalgia,
Who wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up?

You're at a loss,
Just because,
It wasnt all that you thought it was,

You are a fugitive but you dont know what you're runnin away from,

She said I want to sleep in the city that never wakes up,
And revel in nostalgia,
I know I said he wants to sleep in the city that never wakes up but,
Dorothy was right though
Top

12. 505
I'm going back to 505,
If its a 7 hour flight or a 45 minute drive,
In my imagination you're waiting lying on your side,
With your hands between your thighs,

Stop and wait a sec,
Oh when you look at me like that my darling,
What did you expect,
I probably still adore you with you hand around my neck,
Or I did last time I checked,

Not shy of a spark,
A knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark,
Frightened by the bite though its no harsher than the bark,
Middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start,

I'm going back to 505,
If its a 7 hour flight or a 45 minute drive,
In my imagination you're waiting lying on your side,
With your hands between your thighs,

But I crumble completely when you cry,
It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye,
Im always just about to go and spoil a suprise,
Take my hands off of your eyes too soon,

I'm going back to 505,
If its a 7 hour flight or a 45 minute drive,
In my imagination you're waiting lying on your side,
With your hands between your thighs and a smile!
Top